Be confident. Be awesome.

School, Round Two

I re-enrolled for the Bachelor program to try and give myself some more diversity. And because I don’t think I really like Coding all that much. I’m still in a Healthcare Information program, but I will not be limited to just Coding. And I can potentially be a manager in hospitals, if I do well. My only hang up is that I don’t know if it’s what I want to do with my life.

Strike that, I know it’s not. But what I want to do, I can’t do, because it does not pay the bills or allow for independence. I want to be a writer. I want to be able to sit at my computer or lay out in the sun and ponder the possibilities and write about them. But I feel the chance for doing that has slipped by me, and I’m simply too old to for it. I have to think about a realistic future. And the Healthcare Industry one is that is far more stable than any other industry. Not everyone has the luxury in life to do what they love for a living.

School started today. I have some essays due in two days. 6 classes per week, plus the essays and projects is going to leave very little room for anything else. But I suppose this is necessary.

I feel like I’m trapped in a little cage with the key merely a meter in front of the door, but just out of reach. I can see what I need to do in order to gain my freedom, but I just can’t quite reach it. Not without a nudge, a push, or some little bit of assistance. And I lack the supportive environment required to accomplish what I need to, so it’s damn difficult. So now I am doing the only thing I know I can do, in order to maintain the minuscule amount of liberties I do have.

That’s about as whiny as I will get. It’s far more than I initially intended on allowing myself, but I needed to vent a bit.

Something Positive~

I am making it a goal to read every day, even if it’s just one chapter, or article. I want to write about it on my tumblr blog, so I need to get in that habit.


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