Be confident. Be awesome.


It’s a term I have only recently started becoming familiar with. And I believe that because my mind wants connections to exist between random events, I try to look for the synchronicity in everything that happens. I don’t know if it’s real, or just me trying to find the connections, no matter how obscure. I do notice the small, random coincidences, and I feel odd even calling them coincidences, because there is a feeling deep down, that they happened the way they did for a reason. I usually don’t know the reason, but I do notice the connection.

So I want to believe in synchronicity.

Most people that know me, pretty much think I’m off my rocker, mentally-challenged, ignorant or unintelligent. I rarely get credit for being smart, except for the few folks that I let in to get to know the real me. I suppose I play up the ‘dumb as dirt’ stigma that people attach to me sometimes, because it’s easier than arguing. Because when I do show my true knowledge on a subject, it seems to make people uncomfortable and argumentative. As if I could know more about something than them. As if! Anyway, my theories on life and the universe seem to be rather “out there” and contrived from my imagination. I use logic as I know it to come to my conclusions, which rarely, if ever, meshes with other people’s views on life.

But I don’t care. I like believing that there is more out there than the mundane. I believe in magic, and the power of our imagination and creativity.

Now, having said that, which, I had no intention of saying in the first place, I will get on with my silly little anecdotes that I actually did want to share.

Last Mother’s day, I mentioned the silly “coincidences” regarding the adorable server and the carnation he gave to me. That is but one example. Here’s another:

When I dream, sometimes I dream in mini-series. Sometimes they’re semi-lucid, but usually they’re not. I will dream the same scenario with the same players/characters for over a week straight until the story plays out. I personally believe I need to write these stories, but alas, I lack the time or motivation to write silly stories with bizarre plot holes. Afterall, my mind is a very strange place, and my subconscious creates some rather odd situations and imagery.

My recent dream series involved me being a nanny for a family similar to Dexter’s on the Showtime TV show. They had the same names, but were different, and the children were two adolescent girls named Astrid and Ellie. (Astrid comes from the show, Ellie does not). I don’t want to get into details, because I get embarrassed to write about my dreams, but I met a detective for Miami Metro named Jeff. His last name was never very clear to me, other than the letter ‘n’ somewhere in it. His physical appearance was very familiar to me too. He looked sorta like the male member of the band, Eden’s Edge: Dean Berner.

The reason that is significant, might seem silly. When I was young, around 4th or 5th grade, I had a best friend named Janice. She was very big into occult things, which I don’t know why, because her parents were very Christian. But also, at that age, I was very naive and ignorant on the world, so I pretty much believed anything anyone told me, as long as it sounded neat and made logical sense to my 10 year-old brain. Also, I had an interesting way of viewing the world through my naive kid glasses, so my memories from childhood are a lil skewed to that view point.

One day, just out of the blue, Janice called me. “I got a message for you,” she said to me.

“From who?”

“I don’t know, but it came to me today while I was sitting in my room. So I had to confirm it with my Ouija board.” (Note: at this time in my life, I was scared to death of ouija boards. And Janice was a very firm believer in the messages they gave. In hindsight, I know it’s just child’s play, but I believed it back then.)

Scared, I asked what the message was, hoping it wasn’t the same as the last message I got from her board. She took it to school to let the class play with it, and it said the devil was going to get me. After that, the rest of the school year, my classmates were leery to be around me. It sucked. I cried the rest of the day, and had to have the counselor reassure me that a board game wasn’t going to get me. I of course, didn’t believe her.

“You are going to marry a man named Jeff Burner,” she said. She didn’t spell it out, however, so I assumed that’s how it’s spelled.

“Uhm, okay.”

End of conversation. I didn’t know what to do with that information, because I was only 10. But that name got ingrained into my psyche and every time I heard a name similar, I couldn’t help but wonder.

So back to my latest dream series. Jeff, with a mysterious last name, who looks like Dean Berner (pronounced, I assume, just like Burner).  I did not make the connection right away. Instead, I was bored and decided to look up photos of Eden’s Edge to see how much the guy from my subconscious looked like the one he’s apparently modeled after. (similar, but not exact, in case anyone’s wondering). But what jarred me was his name. As soon as I seen it, I was like, “Yes, that’s Jeff last name … wait … that’d make him Jeff Berner…”

And there is yet another silly example of the synchronicity in my world. I do not believe this means I am fated or connected at all to the singer. I do not see this as signs to go fangirly all over the singer either. What I see this as, is positive signs that maybe the story my subconscious was trying to tell is one worth elaborating and expanding on. Worth writing.  Maybe that little dream series would make an entertaining story, because obviously something happened to make it worthy to mention here in the first place, right?


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