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Growing Up

I think I am going to change directions a bit with this blog. My goal at first was to have a place to document all the good, motivating and inspirational things that go on in my life, and that I experience on my journey to normalcy. But things have derailed in my life a bit, and I find it harder and harder to think of uplifting things to write. At least on a regular basis anyway. I will stick to my 2010 resolution about keeping my dirty laundry in the closet, and not ever saying mean or negative things about other people behind their back (or in a public forum).

I would like to just document what is going on, either uplifting, happy, sad or otherwise. That way, I will still feel motivated to update, even if things aren’t going so well.

Now, why is this post called, “Growing Up”? Well, because I feel like I am finally growing up. Maturing. Reflecting back on my actions and the way I reacted to things in my past showed me how incredibly immature I have always been. It took 31 years for me to finally become an adult. Now, I am not talking about tossing out the toys and cartoons and exchanging them for the NYSE tickers and NCIS. No, I am talking about how I handle every day tasks and how I relate to other people. I still love cartoons, I still play video games and collect certain toys. My room still has life-size cardboard cutouts of Darth Vader, Stitch, Mushu and Alice with the Chesire Cat. I also still enjoy a good fart joke.

So what has changed? My perspective on other people. I no longer see the world with me as the center. I can see other people’s point of view, and I am not quick to judge or criticize. I realize that I never will know the whole story behind why people do the things they do, so I don’t jump to conclusions that put me at the center of the slight. The biggest change though, is that I accept that I am real, I am human, and I can’t live my life in a video game where I take the relationships personally. I will never meet any of the people on the other side of the computer, so I don’t care what they think about me. I no longer need the validation of being awesome in that fantasy world, because real life is so much better. Bumpy roads, grey clouds and all.

I am spending a lot of time trying to redefine myself, so that my sole descriptor isn’t “gamer”. I invested in some new hobbies to see if I have aptitude for sewing and sculpting. I spend more time with my mom as well. We have our nights where we set aside time to watch some prime time TV together. (True Blood is coming in 4 weeks! woo!)

I am writing, too. I have half of a novel’s first draft complete. I have the world-building and outlines done for 3 other novels. I am working on gaining the courage to let other people read my work still. But my ultimate goal is to complete a novel, not necessarily sell one. Though it would be awesome.

I am still in school. My graduation date is still set for the end of December, and my GPA is currently 3.91. It will most likely go down when this sessions grades are posted though, because I am struggling with CPT-4. The teacher is way more strict with getting the exact numbers, without hints, second chances, or leeway, than my ICD-9 teacher was. She won’t even tell me what I am doing wrong, just that I am “making several different mistakes one code after the other”.  The more I learn about coding (any system) the less I like it. However, I do like HIM, so I decided I want to be an RHIA (Registered Health Information Administrator) so I will be signing up to get my Bachelor’s degree.

I planted some herbs this year too, because a couple of months ago I learned that I love to cook with herbs and fresh ingredients. Not the “cooking” I was taught growing up (bland survival meals: meat and potatoes with just ground hamburger, potatoes and water) but the kind you see on Food Network. I also have become incredibly addicted to Caprese salad. I eat it nearly every day for lunch. I don’t know the health value in it, but at least there is no sugar or carbs in it. Cooking is an expensive hobby, so I haven’t delved as deep as I would like.

We have an addition to the family as well. A long-haired chihuahua puppy that my mom named Coco. She’s a chocolate brown color, so the name kind of fits. She is still very co-dependent, having never slept a night not next to me. My schedule keeps me up all night, so she sleeps in the chair curled up next to me. Sandy doesn’t quite like her, or at least, she pretends she doesn’t. She acts like if she gets too close, she’ll get cooties. But when no one’s looking, she plays with the puppy.

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